September
by VintageLyre
Summary: He never meant to do it, it was something that came naturally. Now he feels guilty and they're leaving Forks. Edward has made the decision. Begins with Bella's 18th birthday party, Jasper's POV...--HIATUS--
1. The Dreaded Party

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. It's the property of Stephanie Meyer.**

The Dreaded Party

Alice has been decorating the house for hours. She was really into it and wanted to make Bella happy on her eighteenth birthday. There were candles everywhere, as well as an abundance of pink flower petals. I imagine those were there to compliment Bella's natural blush.

Everyone was so excited; after all, this would be the first real birthday party we would attend, let alone host, in quite a long time. I came down the stairs to find Emmett waiting impatiently for Edward to bring Bella. It was almost seven.

"Emmett, do you think you could calm down just a little? It's difficult with everyone being so excited, especially since I am, so it's like it's doubled." He looked at me. "Jasper, I can't. I can't wait to see the look on Bella's face!" I rolled my eyes at him and made my way over to Alice.

She flashed a grin at me. "They're almost here." She turned to the rest of the family as we heard Bella's truck pull up. We stood in the living room quietly, waiting for them to reach the doorstep.

As the door opened and Edward stepped in with Bella, we greeted them with a loud chorus of "Happy birthday, Bella!" Naturally, she blushed and looked down at the ground in embarrassment. That's Bella for you. Edward kissed Bella on the top of her head and wrapped a comforting arm around her waist. Carlisle and Esme were the closest to the door and went to greet her first. Esme hugged Bella, careful not to use too much strength, and kissed her forehead, followed by Carlisle who put his arm around her shoulders.

Behind him were Emmett and Rosalie. I was grateful tonight that Rosalie wasn't giving Bella dirty looks; she doesn't deserve them, especially not on her birthday. Emmett's face was spread into a huge grin. "You haven't changed at all," he said with mock disappointment. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always."

"Thanks a lot, Emmett," she said blushing deeper. It baffles me how one human could blush so much. She's always on the verge of becoming a violet color, and if she did, I wouldn't be surprised. Emmett laughed, "I have to step out for a second,"—he paused to wink conspicuously at Alice—"Don't do anything funny while I'm gone."

"I'll try." Alice let go of my hand and skipped forward, a huge smile on her angelic face. I also smiled, but I kept my distance. I was also fond of Bella, just like the rest of my family. She practically was part of the family, except for the fact of her being human. I didn't want to put her in danger by being too close, not while I was still struggling so hard to keep in control around humans. So I just stayed where I was, leaning against the post at the foot of the stairs.

"Time to open presents," Alice declared. She then put her hand under Bella's elbow, leading her to the stack of presents waiting to be opened. The presents were right next to a small pink birthday cake on the table next to Edward's piano. Bella made a face and looked at Alice. "Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything—"

"But I didn't listen," she interrupted smugly. "Open it." She took the camera from Bella's hands and replaced it with a big, square silver box. That present was from Emmett, Rosalie, and I, a surprise waiting to be discovered. She tore off the paper and just stared at the box. We all waited for a response. She opened the box, hoping for more of an explanation I imagine, and found that it was empty.

She looked up at us. "Um….thanks." I laughed and Rosalie smiled at Bella. "It's a stereo for your truck," I explained. "Emmett's installing it right now so you can't return it." "Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie," she told us, grinning. Then she called a little louder, "Thanks, Emmett!" We all hear his booming laugh from her truck, and she laughed as well.

"Open mine and Edward's next," Alice said, so excited her voice was a high-pitched trill. She took a small, flat square off the table and handed it to Bella. "You promised," she said glaring at Edward. At that moment Emmett bounded through the door, "just in time!" He pushed in behind me as I moved close to get a better look. It wasn't the safest move, but how much could happen in two minutes?

"I didn't spend a dime," Edward informed her. She took a deep breath and turned to Alice. "Give it to me," she sighed. Emmett chuckled with delight. Bella took the little package and slid her finger under the edge of the paper, while rolling her eyes at Edward, and jerked it under the tape.

"Shoot," was all Bella muttered, as she looked down at her hand. As a single drop of blood fell from her finger I tensed. A second was all it took. I could feel myself lost in my vampire instincts, in the need for the human blood flowing from the girl standing near me. "No!" I heard Edward roar as he threw himself at Bella to protect her, throwing her back across the table. The table fell with Bella and she landed in the scattered mess of shattered crystal, making more blood pour from her body.

The smell was overpowering, so alluring. I went forward with the intention of sucking her dry and quenching my thirst. As I did, I slammed into Edward making the sound of boulders colliding. By this time I was snarling and I couldn't gain control. All I knew, all I wanted was to get to Bella and her blood. That was all I needed. I tried to shove past Edward, teeth barred and snapping inches from his face.

I felt Emmett grab me from behind, locking me into his strong grip, but I kept struggling, trying to get to Bella. I can't even imagine the fear that Bella must have felt, seeing me with empty wild eyes, trying to get to her to suck the life from her. As she looked up from the mess, she met the eyes of my family, all affected by the scent of her blood.

Carlisle was the only one who remained calm, unaffected by her blood as he was, and took control. Centuries of spending time around people in the emergency room had somewhat desensitized him. "Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside." Emmett nodded, "Come on, Jasper." I struggled against his grasp the entire way. Edward was paler than usual as he crouched over Bella protectively, a low warning growl coming from between his clenched teeth. Rosalie helped Emmett to get me outside, always staying clear of my teeth, as Esme held the door open for them.

When we got outside, it was a little easier and I began to gain control of myself. The farther we got from the house, the less I struggled against Emmett. Finally we stopped and he let go of me. I stood there, realizing what I had just done. I had just tried to kill Bella, the love of Edward's life. She was like a sister to Alice, to all of us, and I had just tried to kill her, all for her blood. I felt so ashamed. I didn't know what I could do to make it better, if I could make it any better.

Every time Bella looks at me now, will she only see the part of me that wanted to eat her for dinner? Will there be a fear in her eyes of what I might do if I were near her? I looked at Emmett, Esme, and Rosalie. They were also tempted by Bella's blood just as I was, but none of them lost control. They were able to keep their thirst under control, so why couldn't I? Alice was also tempted but she's still in the house, helping Carlisle and Edward tend to Bella. And Edward, he's even more drawn to her blood than the rest of us, yet he too was able to protect Bella from me, his own brother.

I wanted so badly to run back into the house and apologize to Bella. But how could I? Knowing what I had tried to do, how could she accept my apology, how could I face her? Besides, I'm sure no one had cleaned up the mess of blood that had come from her when she fell on the crystal pieces. As I turned I saw Edward making his way toward me. I didn't know what to say to him. This is the worst thing that could have happened; I tried to attack his girlfriend for God's sake!

He stopped in front of me and I looked pleadingly at him. _I'm so sorry Edward, I didn't mean for that to happen. I should have kept more of a distance; I should have been more in control._ Edward looked at me and shook his head. "Jasper, Bella will be fine, just a few stitches is all. It's not your fault. I know you didn't mean to." I looked down at the ground. "I wish I could have been stronger. I wish I weren't as weak as I am, unable to withstand the scent of blood as well as you and the others."

Alice appeared by my side and took my hand. "Jasper, you're not weak. None of us could have known what was to happen. Granted, I should have seen that coming, but everything is fine. Bella is fine, you don't have to worry. She's not mad at you either." I could feel the sincerity coming from her and the conflict raging inside of Edward, the fear of what could have happened. He was worried for Bella's safety, and this time it wasn't a threat from the outside, it came from inside our own home. I couldn't even blame him.

Bella was in danger around me because of my inability to control myself as well as the others, because of my weakness. Edward was watching me as I looked up at him. _I really am sorry Edward. I know I need to work on controlling myself better and I will try. Maybe it's better that I don't go near Bella for a little bit. Besides, I don't think I could deal very well if every time I saw her she would tense up and worry about whether or not I would lose control again._ "I understand Jasper, but you know Bella, she won't react that way. But it may be best if you were to stay clear of her for a while." I nodded sullenly. I can understand that, after all this was my fault. I had caused this because of my weakness.

Alice put a comforting hand on my arm and looked at me. "Don't blame yourself for this Jasper. No one is at fault here, it was just a mistake," she said quietly. "Edward, this isn't your fault or Bella's. It's just something that happened, that's all." Edward looked at all of us, a calm and unreadable expression on his face, but his feelings would always betray him to me. He felt guilt because he had put Bella in such danger. "I know this isn't Bella's or Jasper's fault," he replied quietly. No of course not….he though it was his.

"Carlisle should be done fixing Bella up." He looked at me. "Are you going to be okay?" I nodded quietly. He glanced at all of us before returning to the house to take Bella home. I don't know what he was thinking, but I could only imagine. He would blame himself for tonight, and he might end up doing something that would hurt both him and Bella. And no matter what anyone said, if something happens between Bella and Edward that would ruin their relationship, it would be all my fault.

Alice gripped my hand firmly before brushing my cheek with her lips and following Edward into the house. Esme had gone in to clean up the blood and get the scent off the floor. Emmett and Rosalie stayed outside with me. None of use looked at each other, nor did we say anything. When Bella and Edward had left, we went back into the house to find Alice, Esme, and Carlisle standing in the living room. We knew it would be a long night waiting for Edward's return, and what his return would bring. We stood there for a few more minutes before taking places among the furniture in front of the TV never turning it on, a grim silence settling in among us.


	2. Arguments and Resolutions

We sat there all night, silent and still, until we saw the light of day. I felt Alice stiffen next to me and saw that her eyes were far away. "Alice, what do you see?" I asked her as she came out of it. She turned to look at me, and I could see the horror in her eyes, feel the sorrow inside her. "NO!" she yelled and began sobbing tearlessly into my chest. That was when Edward came home.

I took in his appearance and emotions. "Last night as I watched Bella sleep, I was thinking," he told us. Oh no. That's not a good sign. Suddenly Alice jumped out of my arms and glared at him. "You can't do this Edward, it's not right!" He looked at her sadly. "Alice it's the only way. Bella needs peace, and I'm not the one to give it to her." _No! He couldn't, he wouldn't!_ I shook my head numbly, and he looked at me. "She needs to lead a human life, away from the dangers we bring near her, I bring near her." _He would._

"You're leaving her, aren't you, Edward?" Esme asked silently. He looked us all over and nodded grimly, but his resolve was set. "Yes."

"No! How can you say that? How can you think it?" Emmett raged. "Edward you love her, and she loves you. Don't be stupid!" Edward shot an angry glance at Emmett but Alice stepped in before he could say anything. "Do you have any idea what this will do to you? To her! She loves you Edward. She's been telling you that for months. She doesn't want anyone else but you!"

"She's human," he told us, "she'll grieve for a few weeks and then move on. She'll find happiness with someone else," he winced, "and they can give her everything I couldn't." This was all too much, and all because of me. "And this isn't your fault Jasper, so don't blame yourself. If anything last night was good for bringing me back to reality. Every moment she spends with me she's in danger. This is the only way. Like I said, she'll move on quickly." It was time I said something, he wasn't making any sense.

"Edward, do you even hear what you're saying? She loves you, only you! If you do this it will destroy her. Every time I'm around her and you're near I can feel how much she loves you. It's not some fickle teenage love, but real true love that you only experience once. She's happy around you, Edward. Don't do this," I pleaded with him. "Don't make this the end of both of your lives." Alice nodded, "He's right, Edward. You know what Bella is like, better than any of us. Do you really think she's just going to let you go? That she is going to smile and wave you off and then skip merrily back into her house and wait for someone else to come into her life to love her? If anything Edward, what they're going to find are pieces of her. She's fragile, but not just physically. If anything, her heart is more breakable than any other part of her."

Everyone was silent. I looked at Carlisle to see if he would step in. He was holding Esme as she cried silently in his arms. "Edward don't be ridiculous! Don't you see what's happening? This isn't going to only affect you and Bella, but the rest of us as well!" I told him.

"Just change her and you won't have to worry about getting her killed anymore. Either you do it Edward, or I will," Emmett snarled. "I won't let you hurt this family, and that's what Bella is, she's family. None of us want to see her broken when you tell her it's the end." Edward clenched his jaw together. "If you go anywhere near her Emmett, I won't hesitate to hurt you. Do you understand?" He narrowed his eyes. "And as for seeing her when I tell her we're leaving, you won't have to." Rosalie looked up at his words. "What do you mean, _leaving_? Just because of some human girl we have to move…again?!"

Alice let out a low growl. "Be quiet, Rosalie," she warned. Emmett put his hand on Rosalie's shoulder and whispered something in her ear. She glowered at him but didn't say anything else. Edward continued as if she hadn't spoken. "Alice, Jasper, you will leave for Denali today. Emmett and Rosalie will follow tomorrow, and I will come with Carlisle and Esme in a few days." Finally, Carlisle stepped forward and looked at Edward. "Edward, there has to be another way. If we just sat down and talked about this instead of arguing then I'm sure we could find another alternative. Bella isn't angry about what happened last night, and it was nothing more than an accident."

_Please Edward_, I thought, _don't do this. You'll regret it if you do._ He just shook his head. "No!" he roared. "There is no other way. Don't make this more difficult then it already is. For Bella's safety we have to leave, for her happiness. As for last night, it shouldn't have happened. I should have known, it's Bella after all. She can't go five minutes with out injury to herself. And stop pleading with me in your heads! I've made up my mind and we have to do this, for Bella…" Alice cut in angrily. "For Bella? You think this is what is right for Bella? Edward, I thought you knew better. You're supposed to be smart!" she cried. "Don't make a fool's mistake, Edward. Please. All of us love you and Bella and we don't want to see either of you hurt." I put my arm around her waist as I saw her begin to shake. Her eyes were so sad. As I looked at her, I knew my eyes mirrored her own.

"ENOUGH!" my brother shouted. "I have to get to school and meet Bella in the parking lot. Alice, don't come to school today. I'll see you when I come home, before you leave for Denali." He went upstairs to get changed, all of us staring after him.

"How can he think this is right?" Alice murmured to herself. "It's not supposed to end like this." She looked around at all of us. "I don't think he'll last long without her. He'll come back," she assured us. "I'm certain he will. He isn't as good at resisting as he thinks." She turned and began the walk to our room. As she made her way up I heard her mutter, "I wonder how long she'll last without him."

If I knew Bella as well as I thought I did, she wouldn't last at all. She's going to know that something is wrong. Today would mark the beginning of the end for her. _I hope she makes it out of the darkness that Edward will put her in._ Even as I thought these words, I knew she wouldn't.


	3. The Last Stand

**So here's the third chapter...enjoy! **

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I sighed and followed Alice to our room. I found her sitting on the floor staring into her closet. She didn't look up as I entered. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, moving her to my lap as I sat down on the floor.

"Jasper," she sobbed tearlessly, "this is going to hurt everyone. What Edward is doing isn't right!" I looked at her, bringing her closer.

"I know, Alice." I looked at her grimly. "This isn't going to turn out okay for Bella like he thinks. Have you seen anything?" She shook her head. "No. I keep trying to look through her future but I just see blurs. He hasn't told her yet, so it's indecisive about what's to come for her. I sense a lot of pain though." She looked at me fearfully then. "Jasper, he's going to break her."

She buried her head in my chest and continued her tearless crying. I sat there holding her, unmoving, until Edward came home. When we heard his Volvo pull up to the house, Alice rose and composed herself. I began to pack quickly knowing we would have to leave within the hour.

He knocked on the door, and entered without waiting for a response. Alice looked up at him sadly. I knew it wouldn't do much good since it was Edward, but I decided to try one last time. _Edward, please think this completely through,_ I pleaded with him silently. _You're going to be doing a lot of damage to Bella, yourself, and the family. This is _not _what is right for Bella. This isn't right for any of us. Please._

He looked at me and growled softly. "No Jasper, this is the only way to leave Bella in peace. It doesn't matter how many times you or Emmett or Alice or Carlisle make silent pleas and arguments with me. My mind is made up. This is it. It's final."

"Edward! You can't honestly be that stupid! Do you know how ridiculous this is?" Alice glared at him. "Just get packed and ready Alice," he told her wearily.

"Why won't you just listen to reason, Edward? You said you would protect her. Is that really what you're doing? You said no harm would come to her. Well this is the worst thing that could happen!" Alice screamed at him.

Emmett chose that moment to walk in. "She's right, Edward. You know she is. Why can't you admit it?" He snarled at all of us. "No. Alice you're wrong. This will help Bella lead a _normal_ human life, away from us. It'll make her happier to experience all of the things she would miss while we're here."

I made a move to protest but he silenced me with his hand. "That's it. That's all there is to say." He turned and looked at me. "Are you ready to leave for Denali?" I nodded. "Good. Bring out what you're taking with you to the car."

With that, he turned and walked from the room, making his way to the staircase. I heard him reach the bottom floor and turned to Alice and Emmett. "It's already having an effect on him, and he hasn't even left yet." The feelings coming from him were all different forms of sadness and despair. There was no joy anywhere.

Emmett looked at me, determination in his face. "We have 2 more days. Carlisle, Esme, and I will try our hardest to get through to him. I'll be damned if I watch my brother destroy his happiness and Bella's." I smiled slightly. "And what about Rosalie?"

"If she doesn't agree with us then she'll have to keep silent," Alice supplied. Emmett looked at her and nodded in agreement.

I sighed. "Edward's getting impatient Alice. It's time to go." She walked over to me and grabbed my hand, taking one last look at our room, and house.

We flew down the stairs and out the front door. I loaded our belongings into the trunk of our car as Alice spoke quietly to Carlisle, telling him of Bella's indecisive future and the emotions she sensed from her vision.

"We'll do our best, Alice," Carlisle whispered to her. "I can't promise anything, you know Edward." She nodded. "At least you'll be trying. Thank you." She turned and walked over to the car slowly.

"As we agreed upon before, Emmett and Rose will follow you tomorrow. Carlisle, Esme, and I will leave on the third day." I heard Emmett mumbling under his breath, "No one agreed to anything…" but was cut off from saying anything else by snarl from Edward. Emmett just glared at him. "Well it's true," he said as he crossed his arms.

Edward ignored him and turned to face us. "I think you'd better go now if you want to make it there by morning. See you in two days." As he said this, I picked up on his sorrow. He was being distant to all of us, which wasn't a good sign.

Edward scowled at Alice as she looked at him but didn't say anything. Without another word, we got into the car and I started the engine. I looked back one last time, sending my thoughts out to Edward. _How do you know she'll really be better off? You're leaving will only make it worse, Edward. How many times has she hinted to you what would happen if you left? Think about it._ Without waiting for his reaction, I stepped on the gas and was out on the highway in less than a minute.

Alice sat back in her seat, settling in for the long drive to Alaska. We didn't stop anywhere along the way, we would hunt when we got there, and got settled.

I still couldn't believe that Edward was going to go through his decision. If I ever left Alice, I wouldn't be able to survive and neither would she. That's the way it is for Bella and Edward. _Why can't he see that?!_ Edward thought Bella didn't love him the same way he loved her. _How could he think that? I've felt the strength of their love, of her love. I don't understand how he could be so foolish!_

We pulled up to the house silently, neither of us having spoken the entire ride. Alice was wrapped in her own thoughts just like I was in mine. We got out of the car and walked over to the door, knocking only twice.

Irina opened the door and looked at us. "Hello Jasper, Alice. Come on in." I smiled at her and led Alice into the house by the hand. The rest of the household gathered as we sat down on the couch. "Edward told us you were coming," Kate told us. "Emmett and Rosalie will be here tomorrow?" she asked in confirmation.

Alice nodded. "Carlisle, Esme, and Edward will be here on the third day," I added. They smiled at us. "It's so good to see you again!" Irina laughed. "But you seem a little grim. What is it that has happened? Why are you leaving Forks?" I wasn't sure how much I should tell her.

I looked at Alice and saw she was having the same conflict as I was. I decided I would skim over everything, Edward could explain it all to them when he got here. It was after all his story. As I began to explain, I silently prayed that Edward would come to his senses and there wouldn't be a need for further explanation; or for Edward to come here at all.

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**So, I have the fourth chapter written up and am currently working on the fifth :)**


	4. The Vision

Unfortunately, Edward didn't change his mind yet. After Alice and I formed some sort of explanation for the Denali clan, we went hunting. Emmett and Rosalie showed up the next time in Rosalie's BMW.

"He's just so stubborn. It was like talking to a wall!" Emmett told me. "I couldn't get through to him. I could've been talking to my door knob for all the good it did."

Rosalie shrugged. "Edward's never listened to any of us, why should he start now? I just don't understand why we have to move again, all because of _her_." Alice shot her a look. "Rosalie, if you've said anything to upset Edward, I won't hesitate to hit you. Did you?"

"What would I say to him?" she snarled back. "Like he would listen or care." She rolled her eyes at all of us and went to her room. "She's just upset that we had to move again," Emmett said. I nodded. I understand why, Rosalie hates moving.

We spent the day sitting in Alice's room in silence, lost in our own thoughts. There was nothing we could say or do. Edward had made up his mind. There was no reason to hope that he would change it, but there was still a day left. Hopefully, Carlisle and Esme would be able to finally talk some sense into him.

I felt Alice tense beside me. When I turned around I saw that she was lost to another one of her visions. I could feel the pain coming from her, it was unbearable. I wasn't sure whose emotions they were, Alice's or who ever it was in her vision. As she came out of it, she uttered a small cry of horror and looked at me. "Alice, what did you see?"

Her eyes were filled with such sadness that it hurt to look at her. "Edward," she murmured. She didn't elaborate so I asked. Emmett was just as confused as I was. "Alice, what is it?" he asked her.

"I saw him breaking up with Bella, telling her that he's leaving. He was so mean to her, cruel. The look on her face when she heard his lies, it was full of such pain. He told her that he didn't want her anymore…and she believed him! She looked like she was dying from the inside. It was so painful to watch!" She broke into tearless sobs and clutched at my chest.

I didn't know what to do, how to comfort her. This was not something I could help her with. She wasn't the only one suffering from this. I could feel Emmett jump from anger to grief every time he thought about what Edward would do to Bella and himself.

I was angry. Angry with Edward for being so foolish, for being the downfall of Bella. He was going to leave a mess behind him and no one would be able to clean her up. I was angry with him for hurting himself and all of us, Alice especially. She was suffering because Bella was like a sister to her and now she'd never be able to see her again. I was also miserable because I knew how Bella would suffer. It would be the same for me if I were to ever lose Alice. There would be no one who would be able to replace Edward in any way for her. He has taken her happiness as well as his own.

_I can't believe he actually thinks he's doing the right thing. How could he think that he would be the only one who gets hurt, that she would move on? How could he be so stupid!_ I had to get my emotions under control. I sent out a wave of calm through the room to help Alice and Emmett. _My powers will come in handy for quite some time._

At that moment Rosalie walked in. She looked around the room and saw me comforting Alice and Emmett with his head in his hands. "What's happened? What's wrong?" I didn't have the strength to tell her. She wouldn't care how it would affect Bella. She looked at her husband. "Emmett?"

She walked over to him and sat down, grabbing his hand. "Emmett, please tell me," she whispered quietly. He looked at her with sad eyes. "Alice had a vision. She…she saw Edward telling Bella goodbye. She heard what he is going to say to her and how cold and distant he is to her." She looked at her hands. "It's not good Rosalie. She's going to believe the brutal lies he tells her. The affect it will have on her is horrible…" He trailed off, swallowed by his emotions.

Rosalie nodded her head, but said nothing. I was surprised, knowing how hostile she was towards Bella, I was sure she would say something nasty about it or make a sarcastic remark. She brought Emmett closer to her and comforted him. Suddenly, realization dawned on me. She may not like Bella, but she knew that Emmett saw her as a sister. She wouldn't want to cause the man she loves anymore pain then he is already in.

I could feel the indifference of her feelings towards the situation with Bella, but she loved Emmett and wouldn't argue with him in a time like this. Silence enveloped the room, staying there all night. I held Alice and Rosalie held Emmett, never letting go.

I looked at the time and saw that it was eleven o'clock. It was the third day. In less than five hours, Edward would break Bella's heart and come here.

All hope was lost. He had made his decision and he was going to go through with it. I knew that from the moment Alice told us of her vision. I felt my own sorrow at these thoughts trying to overwhelm me, but I needed to stay strong for Alice.

I wasn't really sure what I should do with myself. Esme and Carlisle would soon be here with Edward, though what shape he would be in, I wasn't really sure. In fact, I didn't even want to imagine it. I wished so much that he would change his mind, but I knew that there was no way he would.

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**So I should have this updated with Chapter 5 within a couple of days. I'm going to start writing it today and should finish it today as well but I need to proof it. It's getting harder to come up with stuff since you don't really know much of what happened when they left but oh well, it's a guessing game:)**


	5. Beginning of the End

**Sorry it took so long for the fifth chapter! I kept getting thrown off track. I'm going to try to make the updates more frequent. I'm just going off the top of my head for this, I never outline but I do always have ideas flowing, so never fear! So after saying that, I have no idea how long I'm going to make this, and where it's going to end, so don't ask...I know as much as you do :) I have a pretty vague-ish idea, but I'm still working on it.**

**Disclaimer: I did not write Twilight, _blah blah blah_...**

**Oh, and to those who I made depressed or cry, I'm really sorry, that wasn't my intention at all! But in a way, and forgive me, I'm giddy because you could relate to the charcters...yay!**

**Now without further ado, here's chapter 5!**

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I held Alice close to me that I could comfort her, as well as myself. Emmett wasn't too happy with Edward at the moment, because of what we all knew our brother had done to Bella. _How could he stand there and break her like that?_ _I really hope she makes it through this._

I heard three car doors slam after pulling into the driveway, and that could only mean one thing: Carlisle, Esme, and Edward were here. Carlisle and Esme came in the Mercedes, while Edward brought his Volvo.

He wasn't even in the house yet and I could already feel all the pain coming off of him. This was killing him.

I tried to get my thoughts in order so I wouldn't hurt him anymore than he already was, but it was difficult. I was even angrier with Edward for killing Bella without actually physically touching her. However, he was my brother, and I would do my best to try and make his pain easier to endure.

He still thought it was his fault, that he had put, and kept putting, Bella in danger. He wouldn't let anyone comfort him or tell him otherwise. When really, it was my fault we left, and it was my fault that Bella had almost died. It was my entire fault.

I looked over at Emmett and say that he was glaring out the window as if it had insulted him. _Well he's not going to be reigning in his thoughts._ I was sure that if he didn't love Edward, he would have been shouting at him and letting his fists make contact with Edward's face.

The front door opened, and the sounds of three pairs of feet made its way to the room we were sitting in. I could tell Carlisle and Esme were worried about Edward. _He must not look to good._

I looked down at Alice as I heard Edward make his way up the stairs. Rosalie opened the door as he was about pass it, making him pause. He looked into the room, but kept from looking anyone of us in the eye.

I had to stifle a gasp. He was hurting so much. It felt like I was being ripped apart, it was unbearable. _How will he live like this, with this pain every day, for the rest of eternity? I couldn't be able to._ That thought scared me. What if he did something foolish so that he could end his existence? Alice tightened her grip on me, sensing the pain I was channeling.

From all of the emotion radiating off of him in waves, there was none on his face. He looked whiter than he normally was, his eyes containing a dead look. They were just blank, empty, like there was nothing there. It was as if there was no Edward anymore, just a shell that contained mind numbing pain.

None of us said anything, and we all knew Edward wouldn't have responded, nor did he have anything to say. I was grateful that Rosalie had enough sense to keep her mouth shut. Her thoughts, however, were a completely different story. What she was thinking I could only guess, but I'm sure it was nothing complimentary. She was still angry at Edward for making us move away from Forks because of Bella.

Judging by Edward's expression, he wasn't listening to our thoughts. That was a good thing. It meant a little less pain and guilt for him to have to deal with.

Without a word, he turned to leave. Out of no where, I heard Alice whisper into my chest, "How could you, Edward?" I didn't think he would be able to hear it since it was so low and muffled that I could barely make out the words. I was watching him as she asked him, and he winced. _So he had heard it._

"Edward…" I said trailing off. He shook his head sadly, staring at the floor without actually seeing it.

Then he turned away, never looking at any of us, least of all Alice, and made his way to his room. If he had looked at us, I don't know if he would have realized that we were there.

His door closed softly, signifying that he was in his room. I felt a stab of pain in my chest. Edward must have been struggling through another one of his inner battles. _Poor Edward._

I kissed Alice and pulled her close, setting her on my lap. I looked up and met Emmett's eyes, both sad and angry, and as that moment I knew. Nothing would ever be the same.

* * *

**I'm aiming to have chapter 6 completed and up by either friday or saturday. I'll try my best for earlier!**

**Sorry that's it's so short!**


	6. The Leaving Song

**Sorry it took so long to update! I had some writer's block for this story. I just wrote this chapter actually and decided to put it up right away. I'm home from school early, sick, and I was listening to AFI when I broke through the block! I kept typing none stop :) -is proud- I already knew what I wanted to do for this chapter, I wasn't sure how to write it though, until it came to me by listening to "The Leaving Song"...There was supposed to be more happening in this chapter but it didn't seem right to squish it all together and it came out longer than I thougt it would. Now without further ado, chapter 6!**

* * *

Over the next few weeks, I saw Edward very little. He would leave his room to hunt every two weeks or so, and remain shut off in his room for the duration of the time. 

He had his music with him but he rarely listened to it. Sometimes, he would listen to Debussy over and over again, as well as the lullaby he wrote for Bella. He never read any of his books, nor did he come anywhere near a piano.

He didn't speak to any of us, nor did he acknowledge our presence when we were around him. When any of us offered to go hunting with him, he ignored us. It was like he no longer existed within himself. He lost all reason for living.

Alice wasn't herself either. She had more life to her than Edward, but she also had a dead look to her eyes. She had lost her best friend.

Emmett didn't make jokes anymore; it was as if he couldn't remember what a joke was. It was hard to deal with, since his usual nature is to solve mostly everything by joking around.

Esme never smiled anymore. There was such sadness in her eyes, as well as her soul. Both she and Carlisle were very depressed. They had lost a daughter, and now their first son was shutting himself off from the family…and the world.

Rosalie, well she was Rosalie. She acted as if Edward didn't do anything wrong. However, she knew Emmett was hurting so she kept her opinions to herself, thankfully.

This family had lost all life. It was painful to feel everything that was radiating off of them. No happy emotions were produced in our household. It was literally like the living dead inside. Any passerby would swear that no one was living in here.

I wasn't even capable of sending out any waves of calm because of all the other emotions weighing down on me from my family, not to mention my own. It was just so hard to get through a day, let alone at night. At least nights are shorter when comparing to the amount of time the moon spends in the sky.

_There are no flowers, no not this time,  
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,  
Just these stark words, I find.  
I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak,  
I'd share with you could I only speak,  
Just how much this, hurts me._

* * *

I was sitting on the couch with Alice when Edward came out of his room to hunt. He left the house without taking in his surroundings or greeting anyone, nothing out of the ordinary. 

It had been two months since we left Forks. Alice was sure that he wouldn't be able to resist this long, we all were. None of us thought he could last a month without returning to Bella and begging for her forgiveness. But he did.

_How could this have happened?_ I was glad he wasn't here to read my thoughts, not that he would have been interested, dead and lifeless as he is. I didn't want to cause him anymore pain than necessary though.

I couldn't help but blame myself. If I had more control, then we would still be in Forks, Edward would be with Bella, and every single one of us would be happy. Esme would smile, Alice would laugh more, and Emmett would tell his jokes.

I know Rosalie may not have missed Bella, but she did miss Forks. She blamed Bella for our leaving, when it wasn't even her fault. It was mine! The blame wasn't all mine though, I had come to realize that. It was also Edward's stupidity and stubborn attitude.

I can't help but think that if we had tried harder, maybe made his see somehow that he couldn't leave because neither he nor Bella would survive, then we would have stayed. I sighed. There was nothing that could be done now. He wasn't coherent enough to listen to any argument we would bring up now.

_Walked away, heard them say  
"Poison hearts will never change, walk away again"  
Turned away in disgrace  
Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within_

I moved Alice so that she was sitting in my lap. I knew she was hurting, even if she wouldn't say it out loud. She buried her head in my chest, breathing in my scent and sighing.

"Edward's on his way back…" she whispered quietly. I kissed her forehead and took her hand in mine.

I nodded. "He'll walk in and go up to his room, locking himself in there for another week or so. It's not anything different from any of the other times."

Oh how I wish I hadn't said that. Suddenly Alice stiffened in my arms, going into one of her visions. I could feel the anguish and turmoil coming from her, and it was physically painful for me.

As she came out of it, Edward walked in the front door and stopped to look at us both. Alice stared back at him, a pained expression on her face contrasting with his own expressionless one.

"You're leaving?" she asked, but it sounded more like a statement. He looked at her sadly, no other emotion playing across his features.

_It's hard to notice gleaming from the sky  
When you're staring at the cracks  
It's hard to notice what is passing by with eyes lowered_

He nodded his head slowly. "It's for the best…" he stated, trailing off.

By this time, the rest of the family had come into the room, followed by the Denali coven.

Alice jumped off my lap and glared at Edward. "What do you mean 'it's for the best'?! You're the one that said we should leave and let Bella live a normal _human_ life. And we did. We did this for _you_ Edward! For you! And now you're just going to leave us all? That's unacceptable!"

I put a calming hand on Alice, though I knew it would do little to soothe her. She wasn't the only one who was angry.

Esme shook her head. "Please Edward, stay with us. I know you're hurting right now, but going off on your own isn't a good idea, not now at least."

"How can you think of doing this?" Emmett asked. "Edward, you may be really sad right now, we all are, but it's not for the best." Edward shook his head in disagreement. "Will you just listen to us for once?! We left Forks, losing a little sister, a daughter and the love of your life! Now, you want to run off to God knows where and have us lose our brother as well? You want Carlisle and Esme to go through the loss of another child?"

If Esme and Alice were human, they would have been sobbing with endless tears by this time. As it was, Esme was dry sobbing into Carlisle's chest while I held Alice tightly.

_You... walked away, heard them say  
"Poisoned hearts will never change, walk away again"_

The Denali coven stayed silent, surveying the scene played out before them. I was also waiting for Rosalie to start shouting, but surprisingly she stayed silent. However, I could feel the anger rolling off of her in waves, so it wouldn't be long now.

"I'm not making anything better by staying here," Edward told us all. "I don't need to hear your thoughts of pity for me, nor do I want to hear how sad and depressed all your thoughts are. I know that it's my fault, that's why I have to leave."

_All the cracks, they lead right to me  
And all the cracks will crawl right through me  
All the cracks, they lead right to me  
And all the cracks will crawl right through me, and I fell apart_

"I don't want to inflict my pain on any of you…" Edward was cut off by none other than Rosalie. I knew it wouldn't be long.

"Oh stop being such a martyr, Edward. Just get over it!" she yelled at him, glaring the while time. "If it wasn't for that _human_, we would still be in Forks."

"Rosalie," Emmett warned quietly.

"No Emmett, this has gone on long enough. I've kept my silence and let you all brood and mourn, but enough is enough! Move on and forget about her." She turned her attention to Edward. "Stop acting like you're dying. This was your choice, live with it."

I saw Edward wince from the impact of her harsh words.

"Rose, this isn't the time." Emmett told her.

"It's the perfect time!" she fumed. "Someone has to tell all of you how ridiculous you're acting." She paused. "Jasper, this isn't your fault. It's _hers_," she sneered, "_Bella's_. That human…"

"That's enough!" Carlisle shouted angrily, cutting Rosalie off. She looked just as shocked as the rest of us.

Carlisle had never raised his voice at us, he was always so calm. I suppose Rosalie's accusations of Bella had angered him since she never did anything wrong. I'm betting he also disliked Rosalie telling everyone to get over it, like it was a bad thunderstorm, or a toy was broken. It was so much more than that.

"Rosalie, it would be better if you kept those opinions to yourself right now," he said, resorting to his calm demeanor.

"Everyone is in pain right now, so we need comfort, not a slap in the face," Alice told her.

I nodded in agreement, as did Emmett. He grabbed hold of his wife, pulling her back. Carlisle turned his attention to Edward.

"Edward, I really don't want you to leave. It would be hard on all of us, you especially. I don't like the idea of you being alone while in the condition you're in."

"I'll be fine, Carlisle," Edward whispered. "You don't need to worry about me."

Carlisle watched him for a few moments. "But I will worry." He sighed in defeat. "Don't keep away for too long."

Edward nodded. "I'll take my cell phone with me if you need anything, and I'll call to check in every once in a while. When you move out of here, I'll come back to visit for a bit before I leave again." He took a deep breath. "I better go pack a few things." He sped past us and up to his room.

I could feel Esme's grief. She felt like she had lost her son for good, like he would never come back from the dark. It was heartbreaking.

We waited for Edward to come back down stairs, ready to say our goodbyes. Alice, like Esme, was dry sobbing. I looked around at all the sad, defeated faces. This family was falling apart.

Edward returned and said goodbye to the Denali coven, then turned to face us. He walked up to Carlisle and Esme, and they both embraced him in a tight loving hug.

"Come back soon," Esme whispered quietly to Edward.

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "You'll always be welcomed back, no matter the mood you're in."

My brother then turned to Emmett and Rosalie, who both gave him small smiles, telling him to keep in touch.

Then it was Alice's and my turn. Alice launched herself at him, hugging him fiercely with her little arms.

Then I took him into a brotherly embrace. "Take care of yourself," I told him. _Don't wait too long to come back to us. We're here if you need anything._ He nodded at my words and thoughts, giving me a small sad smile.

"I will, and I know," he answered me.

I stepped away from him as he took another look around the room. He made his way to the door, but paused as Emmett spoke up.

"We love you little brother."

Edward faced us and made eye contact with each of us for the first time in months since he left Bella. Then he was gone, with the few belongings he had packed.

_As I... walked away, heard them say  
"Poisoned hearts will never change"  
Walked away again  
Turned away in disgrace  
Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within_

I looked at the rest of my family, minus the two members who were missing. Once again, I thought the six words I had only months ago. _Nothing would ever be the same._

**

* * *

****I don't really like using songs in the middle of stories, but it seemed appropriate. I'm sorry if it gets on your nerves. Both songs I used were by AFI. The first one was "This Time Imperfect" which was used in the first part of the story, before the break, while the second was "The Leaving Song" which is also the name of the chapter :) **

**Hopefully the next update will come a lot faster! Any thoughts? Questions?**


	7. Author's Note

-sigh- I know, a very well hated author's note…yay! Sorry if I got your hopes up about this being a new chapter. -ashamed-

I'm really sorry I haven't update sooner. I had some time but sadly the muses did not feel the need to inspire me. Bad muses! I'm going on vacation to Florida for a week and a half so I'll write while I'm there. I'll try to write at least two chapters that way there will be faster updates when I come back!! I leave April 25th and return May 4th….so much school will be missed, yay! I mean, how terrible! -mourns-

So I'll update May 4th for you :) Be back soon!


	8. All Wrong

**As promised for this story as well as 'The Pack', here's the next chapter! I tried to make it really long for you guys. I still need to write the next chapter though, so I'll try and have that up by the middle of this week to friday. I'll try, I won't promise anything so I won't break them :)**

**Also, if any of you read 'Haunted Halloween', I'm taking a bit of a break from that story. I want to concentrate more on 'The Pack' and 'September' so I can get it to you all faster, not to mention my little block for that story. PLUS I have two new ideas for stories, both are AU and I have outlined one half way through and the other completley!**

* * *

Three weeks after Edward left, we moved into a new house. Esme decorated of course, and she kept a room for Edward in case he came back. It held all of his music and furniture. 

Edward called us twice, and like he promised, came for a two day visit two months after moved. He left quickly again and we hasn't heard from him since.

Alice checked up on him and said he was tracking Victoria. I suppose he had to do something to ensure Bella's safety and to keep him busy.

The months seemed to go by slowly. No one was the same, except for Rosalie at times. So much misery hung in the air.

Alice began searching for the asylum she was kept in when she was human so she could find her files and information on who she was before she was changed. She had successfully tracked down the asylum and her files. Esme was restoring a seventeenth century house, a historical monument, in the forest north of the city. Carlisle was working nights in Ithaca and teaching part time at Cornell. Emmett and Rosalie had gone off to Europe on another honeymoon but they were back now.

I decided to enroll at Cornell and I chose to study philosophy this time. Everyone was busy doing their own thing. We were separated from one another, not only physically, but emotionally as well. Leaving Forks tore us apart.

For spring break, we had decided to take a family vacation, excluding Edward of course. We were heading to stay with the Denali coven for the duration of the break.

Alice booked the tickets for the flight while everyone else packed. She came into our room and say down on the bed, holding her hand out for mine.

I sat down, holding her hand, and then pulled her into my lap. She leaned her head into my chest. "Oh Jasper," she sighed, "I wish Edward would come back. I just wish he would go back to her."

I stroked her back comfortingly. "I know, Alice. You don't see anything for him?"

She shook her head. "No. He's just lying in that attic in Brazil. He's wasting away Jasper. Something has to be done."

I looked at her sharply. "Alice, don't you start scheming. You promised Edward." I took her by her shoulders. "You haven't looked into her future, have you?"

She sobbed quietly. "I haven't, but it's so hard to resist! I'm so worried about her. What if she decides she can't take it anymore? Oh God Jasper, it's just so hard!"

"Shh. Alice, calm down. I know. It hurts us all, but this is the least we can do for Edward."

She nodded. "Okay. You're right."

"She's strong. We can only hope she doesn't do anything rash." I pulled her closer.

There was a knock on our door, and Esme stepped in. "It's time to go to the airport." I nodded to show that I had heard her and she left.

"Come on, Alice. It's time to leave." I picked her up and placed her on the ground. Then I grabbed our suitcases and her hand. I led her down the stairs, out the front door, and to the car.

* * *

When we got to the airport, we checked-in, gave in our luggage and the proceeded to go through the security check. The plane was about to take off so we quickly made our way to the gate. 

Naturally we had first class seats. I was next to Alice, with Carlisle and Esme in front of us, and Emmett and Rosalie behind.

The plane ride was very quiet. We rarely said anything. The longest conversation we had was about the current time and time we would arrive in Denali.

Once the plan had landed, we got our luggage from the baggage claim. We went to get the Mercedes and Volvo from storage and drove to the Denali coven's house.

Irina greeted us at the door and led us into the living room, where the rest of her family was waiting. Carlisle spoke the most to them, telling them what we had been up to. We added some input here and there, but nothing really extensive.

Once we had finished, each of us retired to the rooms we always kept during our visits. As I was holding Alice, she went stiff and rigid in my arms.

She was in one of her visions and I could feel the pain and fear rolling off of her in waves. Something was terribly wrong in her vision. When she came out of it, she broke down in dry sobs. They shook her small frame violently.

I pulled her into my arms. "Alice! Alice, what is it? What's wrong? Is it Edward?"

She shook her head fiercely. I waited for her to speak. Emmett and Rosalie heard Alice crying and ran into the room.

"What's going on?!" Emmett shouted. He was beginning to panic.

"Alice had a vision," I told him quietly. "When she came out of it, she started sobbing. All I could get out of her was that it wasn't about Edward."

"Well who else do we know that would get Alice this upset?" Rosalie asked. She looked bored not that she knew it had nothing to do with Edward.

If it was about one of us she would waist no time in telling us, so who could it be? _Wait, there's only one other person that could...oh no!_

"Alice! Alice, you have to tell us what you saw!" I almost shouted.

She looked up at me. "It was horrible! It…was…Bella!" she sobbed. She was panicking now as well. "She was standing on the edge of a cliff while there was a storm raging around her. She was looking down at the ocean."

"Alice, where was this at?!" Emmett shouted. He grabbed hold of her shoulders roughly, pulling her up. I growled in warning. He ignored me.

"It was at the La Push cliffs!" she shouted hysterically. "She was just standing there! She said a few things into the wind softly, I couldn't hear her. It may have been something about Edward, maybe something else. I'm not too sure. Then she…she…" She paused, taking in a shaky breath. "She jumped!" She started sobbing again.

Emmett gasped. "Oh God, not Bella! We should have never left!"

Along with sorrow and despair, anger flared within Alice. "How can she do this?! What is she thinking?! This will kill Charlie. Edward won't be able to live with himself!"

"This is our entire fault!" Emmett shouted. "Oh God!"

"Once again, we have to worry about Bella! I can't get away from her. It's her choice to jump, even if she is being stupid. Maybe she'll survive," Rosalie said.

"Shut up, Rosalie!" Alice shouted. "She isn't going to survive. I waited in the vision for her to come up, she didn't! Bella's going to die! Oh Bella, why?!"

"Alice, when is it going to happen?" I asked quietly. All of the emotions in the room were weighing me down. It was beginning to become too much.

"Th-this afternoon," she stuttered. She stood up suddenly and ran into the bathroom, coming out less than ten seconds later in a change of clothes.

"Alice?" I questioned. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to Forks," she stated. "I'm going to try and stop her."

"And what if you can't? It's already early morning. You won't be able to drive there that quickly."

"Then I can console Charlie at the least."

"Alice, no!"

"What would you have me do, Jasper?

"Don't get involved. You promised!"

"I don't care. Bella needs me, she's family! I can't just sit around here while she commits suicide! Damn my promise and damn Edward for leaving her, for making her like this!"

"Alice you can't. We said we would leave her alone."

"Don't you think I know that?! But I can't just let her go off to her death, and because of us, because of Edward! I have to at least try! Don't try and stop me Jasper, you won't be able to." Her eyes turned pleading. "Please Jasper, I've wasted enough time already, and I'm wasting even more arguing with you." She sighed. "I love you, and I love Edward, but I love Bella too. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I just sat back and did nothing. _Please_."

I hung my head in defeat. "Go Alice. Take Carlisle's Mercedes, it's the fastest and will protect you from bursts of sun."

She nodded her head and kissed my cheek. "I love you, Jasper."

I walked her to the door quickly, and watched as she got into the car. Before she drove off, she looked out the window. "Don't tell Edward where I'm going and that I had a vision about Bella. Tell Rosalie and Emmett the same thing."

I nodded. "I will, don't worry. I love you."

She smiled at me and drove away. I stood at the doorway, watching until the car was out of view.

I went back inside and found Emmett sitting on the couch with a solemn look on his face. Rosalie was standing behind him with her arms crossed.

Emmett and I exchanged looks, and I could feel all the grief emanating from him. As I looked away, Emmett voiced my own thoughts.

"I hope she gets there in time," he said grimly. His words said one thing, but his emotions said another: complete and utter doubt.

* * *

**I had my sister read this and she cried. She also cried for all the chapters before. It seems I keep making people cry, not my intention! lol...But atleast you're all connecting with the characters...yay!**

**Sorry that I had the evil author's note before I went on vacation, but I didn't want anyone to think I'm just lazy...I'm not! lol...See? I wrote stuff in my handy dandy notebook while in Florida! Ugh, it was so nice there, and then I come back to Philadelphia, step out of the air port and take a nice big breath of fresh pollution...yay! Except, not really.**


	9. Sharing Isn't Caring It's Something Else

**I am so sorry that this is a week later than I had said it would be. I tried, I really did, I swear! I know I only apologize and make excuses and such, but I have a good reason! After I came back from vacation, I found out I missed so much. I mdae up all my French stuff, that was easy, so I'm good for that class. But I still have tests to make up for Latin and Brit Lit, not to mention like two papers to right for Brit Lit and a paper for film class PLUS a bunch of projects for film class. -sigh- Bottom line, school sucks. May is my worst month ever this year, nothing is going right! Oh well, just go with the flow I suppose. I've already had two nervous break downs this year about school, I'm _not_ going for a third :)**

**Real quick funny story: For mother's day, my parents, sister, grandparents and I were going to go to Peddler's Village. I won't explain what it is right now, but it's really pretty there and loads of shops. Anyway, we were about to leave when my grandmom called and told us they weren't going. After calling back and much talking to my grandparents, who are crazy, we found out my grandpop upset his wife by not wishing her a "Happy Mother's Day". He also yelled at her about something. She got upset, overreacted for a bit, the ran away from home. She walked all the way to the train station. -rolls eyes- It took about one hour and thirty minutes to calm her down. I was finally the one to bring her down to earth while my mother insisted she go to the shrink with my grandmother. Yeah, real smart mom, that only made her upset. What I found hilarious, was that while my grandmom was storming out of the house, she had enough time and sense to make herself a sandwhich lol...When I asked her what she would do that day, she said she would sit down and eat her sandwhich on the grass. Then take a nap on the grass...wtf? Who will help her OFF the grass? Silly grandmother! She went home though after I spoke to her BUT she locked herself in the tiniest room of her apartment. My family is full of freaks, yet I still love them, weird :)**

**Now, after that long ass author's note that I'm sure you all appreciated very much, here's the next chapter! Happy reading!**

* * *

I didn't know what to do with myself. I was so worried about Alice and Bella. I really hoped Alice would get there in time, but I knew she wouldn't. Alice left too late to make it to Forks by the time Bella jumps, but still, I was hoping. It was a fool's hope, it was hope nonetheless. 

I told Emmett and Rosalie not to contact Edward, and if by some miracle he called here, not to tell him what happened and what's happening at the moment. They agreed, but Rosalie felt that we should tell him. I would need to keep a close eye on her; Rose likes to do her own thing without listening to others.

I was waiting for Carlisle and Esme to return from their hunting trip so I could tell them the news. I didn't even want to imagine how Esme would take this. She would be heartbroken. It's one thing to lose Bella by leaving her behind, but it's another to lose her to death, and not in old age either. No, because she killed herself and it's our fault, my fault. If I hadn't lost control and taken a snap at her at her eighteenth birthday party, none of this would have ever happened.

We would have never left. Edward wouldn't have broken her heart. She would have been happy. She wouldn't have wanted to kill herself. She would have stayed alive. Right now, she and Edward would be lying in his room, holding each other in a loving embrace.

I dropped my head into my hands. How would Charlie take it? Alice is right, it would kill him to know that his only daughter had committed suicide. He won't know the reason, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be that hard to guess at.

I sat on the living room couch all day staring at the wall, thinking. I was so tired of thinking. It hurt too much and time seemed to pass by so slowly, as if on purpose.

I watched as the sun set and the moon became visible. I couldn't find anything to do with myself. Emmett and Rose were in another part of the house, doing something I didn't know about. If it was the usual, then I was perfectly content about being in the dark and knowing nothing about their…activities.

I knew that Carlisle and Esme were due back in the early morning. Unfortunately, I would have to be the one to break the news and break their hearts. If anything went really bad, I would be able to spread a wave of calm throughout the house.

* * *

It was two hours after sunrise, a little over twenty-four hours after Alice's departure, when Carlisle and Esme walked through the front door. Their eyes were a bright topaz and they were smiling at each other, happy to be with one another, not to mention satisfied with the hunt. 

"Hello, Jasper." Esme looked at me and I nodded in response. I couldn't smile, it would be forced and look more like a grimace instead.

Both Carlisle's and Esme's smile faltered a little, the light leaving their eyes. I really didn't want to tell them where Alice was and why she was there, but they had I right to know. I knew I had to tell them, it's not something one can keep hidden, nor should it be.

I sighed and motioned for them to sit down on the couch. They obliged, and looked at me expectantly. The time had come to tell my parents.

I took a deep a breath. "Carlisle, Esme…there's something you should know." They nodded for me to continue. "Alice is in Forks."

"Why is she there?" Carlisle asked. "We had promised Edward we would stay away from that small town and their inhabitants." Esme's eyes filled with sorrow.

"I know. What I have to tell you isn't easy."

"What's happened?" Esme demanded. _How do I break this to them gently? That's just it, I can't. It's impossible._

"There's no easy way to tell you or soften the blow, and I'm so sorry for that." I could feel my own grief welling up but I had to suppress it. "Bella's dead," I whispered quietly.

Carlisle's eyes widened and Esme gasped. "How do you know?"

"Alice had a vision early last morning."

"How?" Esme questioned quietly. I knew what she meant without having to ask for clarification.

"Alice saw her jump…off a cliff…at La Push," I answered her, almost inaudibly. "Alice waited in the vision for Bella to reappear, but she never surfaced."

Esme's hands flew to her mouth to keep her gasp concealed, while Carlisle murmured a soft "no". Esme began to sob tearlessly, trying to keep her cries in, but not being very successful. Carlisle enfolded his wife in his arms, trying to comfort the both of them.

I knew comfort was no where to be found. After all, they had lost a daughter for all eternity. God only knows what Edward will do when he does finally learn of _her_ death.

"When…when did she…jump?" Carlisle asked.

"Sometime yesterday afternoon." I took a deep breath. "Alice left half an hour after her vision, while you were hunting, so we couldn't contact you." I paused, feeling the sense of loss Carlisle and Esme were experiencing. "She wasn't going to make it in time, even if she drove without stopping, which I'm sure she did. There wasn't enough time. The vision came too late."

They both knew that I was right. No matter how much I hoped my words were false, and a lie, I knew Alice never made it in time. I would lose my brother soon, having already lost my sister. Alice would most likely never smile again. I closed my eyes in frustration. _Everything is all wrong!_

Carlisle spoke up again. "Does Edward know?"

I shook my head. "Alice told me not to call him. He won't take it well at all. There's no telling what he'll do."

"You're right, Jasper. We'll have to tell him to come back and then inform him in person. We'll need to watch him and make sure he's okay."

"Okay? But he won't be okay, Carlisle. The love of his life will be dead. Alice said she jumped _because_ of Edward," I whispered. "Because she felt alone and hurt. He'll blame himself for the rest of eternity."

"It won't be easy, but we need to help him through it."

"I don't think he'll get through her death," Esme sobbed, "when he could barely get through leaving her alive!"

"I agree," I said. Carlisle nodded his head in defeat. "Don't call Edward. If he calls here, don't tell him," I instructed. "Rosalie and Emmett already know this. They're upstairs in their room right now." I sighed. "All we can do now is wait for Alice to call. That's all that's left, really."

Carlisle and Esme nodded. "I suppose we'll go upstairs as well then," he told me. I nodded in response, lowering my eyes to the ground. "Call up if you need anything."

He held Esme in his arms, supporting most of her weight. With my eyes, I followed their slow movements up the stairs and into their room. As soon as I heard their door close, I feel onto the couch, letting my head rest in my hands.

I knew Carlisle and Esme were grieving, trying to comfort one another. Even if Carlisle kept his calm, composed façade, I knew what he was really feeling. Behind that mask lay his true face, something he can't let loose at the moment because he's the head of the family and needs to support everyone.

I couldn't afford to fall apart either. Alice wasn't here, not to mention the fact that I had to keep my own emotions in control, as well as everyone else's.

I looked at the clock and it read 5:02 pm. I had been sitting here, lost in thought, for hours. Alice should be in Forks by now, but a day after Bella plummeted to her death. She should be with Charlie now, helping to plan for my little sister's funeral.


	10. Author's Note the Second

I am so sorry that I haven't updated this story in so long! I couldn't figure out how to write the next chapter, and now I'm a little more that frustrated, more like furious, since the little brat I used to baby-sit was over my house last night while her mother was upstairs with my mom. She's my mom's client, you see. Well the kid, being the spoiled little fit throwing princess she is, made us install some damn Harry Potter game and it screwed up my screen, I couldn't see anything except black and the mouse cursor.

So, since that happened and I tried millions of possibilities that didn't work, I had to recover the whole system. Everything was deleted from my whore of a computer (yes, my computer is a whore, and a cheap one at that…..). ALL my files are gone: Documents, pictures, games and movies, my MUSIC. It's all gone. So I have to spend some time setting EVERYTHING back up and installing all this crap.

The only lucky thing that happened was that I saved all my fan fiction documents that I didn't before and the original story I'm working on to my jump drive. That made me sigh in relief, however brief it was.

So I'm afraid it will be a little bit longer until I can get the next chapter up. I'm terribly sorry.


	11. Author's Note III

I want to say to all of my readers, that I am so sorry. I apologize profusely for neglecting this story, and even more so for what I have to say now. No, I will not be dropping it, but it will be on hiatus for some time. I have severe writer's block on it and I can't figure out how to write the next chapter. It's not that I don't know what to write, I do, but I can't figure out how to get it written. Believe me, I've tried. I've sat staring at my copy of New Moon and notebook and still, nothing. I've started drafts then scratched them out because they weren't good enough.

So until I come to a solution to this problem, nothing will be posted for this. I will try my hardest, but I'm afraid I can't give you a time frame, forgive me. Be angry with me if you wish, sad, calm; whatever it is you're entitled to it. Once again, I apologize, and hopefully when it comes to me you'll all be pleased with the next chapter. Thank you for being patient with me, and if you've been impatient or will be, it's understandable. However I must stress, do not comment this with a repetitive **Update! Update! Update! Please!** because it will only frustrate me since I can **_not_** update.

On a lighter note, if any of you read my other story, "Chosen", the next chapter is almost done and will be out before the week is done.


	12. LAST AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey kids, it's me. Yes, it's been quite some time. I'm sorry I haven't had quicker updates and that they're taking so long. Hopefully however, this will be my last author's note ever. Quick note: **DO NOT COMMENT THIS NOTE, IT WILL BE DELETED WHEN THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED.**

All right, here's my news. No, I most likely won't be updating this week, forgive me. It's a little hectic. However, this is not the main subject. The main topic is that I've been trying and thinking of a way to get you information without posting ridiculous author's notes which take up too much space. I was thinking of getting a Live Journal account, or trying, keyword being **try**, to make a website where I can put all the information. After about a month, I've finally done it though in a much easier way! I have a Blogger account now, where I will be posting updates about EVERY story I have in progress on here, and probably on fictionpress as well. I advise you check it out every now and then, because this is the first and last time I will be posting the link to it. Here it is:

**www(dot)addiej(dot)blogspot(dot)com** -- just replace the dots with actualy dots (.)

I will post there as often as possible, which may sometimes be every day, it depends. Every time I have any information, I will post there and update everything. So take a visit, because I'm pretty sure that now the author's notes will stop.

Once again I reiterate: **_DO NOT COMMENT THIS NOTE, IT WILL BE DELETED WHEN THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED._**

Cheers!

-- VL --


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